How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

I became confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies:

Banking 'Service'

Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Pay TV 'Service'

State & Public 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

Bureaucratic 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

Then I visited my uncle, he's a farmer, and he hired a bull to'Service' his cows.

Suddenly WOW!!! It all came clear. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us!

just remember this when you take your Jeep in for a Service !

[bleetnblurt]

service ? but butt

[layback40]

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

[layback40]

A flat-chested young lady read an article in a magazine that stated Dr.
Bumbutu in Africa could enlarge your breast without surgery. So she
decided to go to Dr. Bumbutu to see if he could help her.
Dr. Bumbutu advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest
and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months, and to her utter amazement
she grew a terrific D-cup rack!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic
realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might
lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood
right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes
And said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked ' Are you a patient of Dr
Bumbutu's?'
Yes I am.. How did you know?'
He winked and whispered, ' Hickory dickory dock.....

[layback40]

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg.

He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer-by who'd seen everything remarked, "That's very tolerant of you after what he just did."

"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts."

[layback40]

President Clinton was being entertained by an African leader.
They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
President Clinton frowned. "Russian roulette's not a friendly, nice game."
The African leader smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play. I'll show you how." He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to
give you oral sex," he told Clinton.
This gained Clinton's immediate attention, and he was ready to make his choice, when a thought occurred to him.
"How on earth is this related to Russian roulette?"
The African leader said "One of them is a cannibal."

[bleetnblurt]

Originally Posted by layback40

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

its because women and cats are alike
and you know its true : THEY BOTH MEOW SCREAM AND PURR AND SCRATCH AND BITE. LOL