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25-10-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,844 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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George looked over the backyard fence and admired Fred's wife while she sunbathed topless.
The next day, George corners his neighbor on the driveway saying, "I saw your wife sunbathing in the backyard without her top on yesterday." Fred was quite put out over the peeping incident and told George he planned revenge.
That very evening, Fred noticed that George's bedroom shades were up. Upon closer inspection, he notices George's wife in the act of performing oral sex.
The very next day Fred calls out to George, "Hey, George, I saw your wife giving you a blow-job last night."
George laughed. "Ha ha ha! Liar! I wasn't even home last night."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-10-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,844 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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A woman bought a mirror from an antiques store near her home. She placed it on the bath room door.
One day when she got out the shower she decided to have a laugh.
She says to the mirror: "Mirror mirror on my door make my bustline 44" there was a great flash of light and when she looked her breasts they were size 44.
She ran down the stairs excitedly to tell her husband.
Then her husband ran up the stairs crossed his fingers and said to the mirror: "Mirror mirror on my door make my penis touch the floor" well again was the flash of light and his legs dropped off
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-10-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,844 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her? I am desperate!"
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental. The tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."
"I don't know, Doc, she's awfully cold..."
"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"
"Um... okay." The guy expresses gratitude and leaves for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. The man hastily pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then inspiration strikes, he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns with the shortcake and they enjoy their dessert and coffee.
A few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look comes over her. In a near whisper, and a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I...need... a man..."
His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me... too..."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-10-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,844 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss the Amazing Navy Chief."
Curious, he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it is an old retired Navy Chief.
Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Navy Chief is carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the Amazing Navy Chief."
He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket. Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The Navy Chief stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd goes wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. You're incredible," he tells the Navy Chief. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," says the Navy Chief, "My eyes aren't what they used to be."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-10-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,844 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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195 posts till I am in the 10,000 post club.
Wonder what I will get for that? Probably SFA.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-10-2015
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DetroitDemon
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 4,801 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
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Sent from my FRED
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25-10-2015
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CrawlerStar
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,657 What Jeep do I drive?: WJ
Likes: 34
Liked 388 Times in 291 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
195 posts till I am in the 10,000 post club.
Wonder what I will get for that? Probably SFA.
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ill send ya a sponge bob badge ! 
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