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  #7825  
Old 28-08-2017
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kgltrek123! 321 gone.
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  #7826  
Old 28-08-2017
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Ban his smelly butt!



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  #7827  
Old 28-08-2017
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kgltrek123! 321 gone.


Damned fine work Sir!


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  #7828  
Old 29-08-2017
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A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's." ''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."
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  #7829  
Old 29-08-2017
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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Yup, I remember when I was a kid, my knees would begin to shake when my mom calls me by my complete name.
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  #7830  
Old 31-08-2017
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Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'


Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman.. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.'

Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his damn wife.'
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  #7831  
Old 01-09-2017
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Default And in honour of it being the first day of Spring...

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  #7832  
Old 01-09-2017
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So, I was walking through Bankstown and I saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Pauline Hanson`s book on the Australian Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and Nigerians ?"
The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
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