How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's.

The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."


"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red Lion,

the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."


"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink,

then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house.”


The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true.

They asked, “did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "But it did happen to me sister quite a few times.."

[Dustbowl]

Hahahahahaha you are a very funny bloke Layback!

[layback40]

Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

[layback40]

Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going though the roof.

[Dustbowl]

Originally Posted by layback40

Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going though the roof.

Bahahahahahahahahaha, owwwch it hurts to keep laughing!!!

[layback40]

Two psychiatrists are out riding their bikes.

One of them falls, and hurts himself badly, bruises and blood all over the place.

And what was the other one's response?

"Do you want to talk about it ?"

[taskmaster]

Originally Posted by layback40

Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going though the roof.

Boom Boom......LMFAO.