How tuff are Aussie blokes? - Page 18 - AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand


Go Back   AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand > GENERAL > Off Topic Chitchat


Portal Register Forums Trading Your Jeep New Garage Mark All Read

Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #137  
Old 28-02-2012
SteveT  SteveT is offline
Full Flexer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sydney N.S.W.
Posts: 599
Likes: 15
Liked 24 Times in 11 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40 View Post
See if i got this right!!!

If you cross the north korean border

illegally you get 12 years hard labor.


If you cross the iranian border

illegally you are detained indefinitely.






If you cross the afghan border

illegally, you get shot.






If you cross the saudi arabian border

illegally you will be jailed.





If you cross the chinese border

illegally you may never be heard from again..






If you cross the venezuelan border

illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.





If you cross the cuban border illegally

you will be thrown into political prison to rot.






If you sail illegally into australia you get !!!

A job,
a drivers license,
social security card,
welfare,
credit cards,

subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house,

free education,

free health care,
billions of dollars worth of public documents printed in your language

the right to carry your country's flag while you

protest that you don't get enough respect

and,
in many instances,

you can vote.
Yep,
The most prized border to cross on this earth...... Lifetime care.... Even in the land of the free, you would only get six months aide to get going along & have to stand on your own feet after that as they say.....................
  #138  
Old 28-02-2012
bruggz351's Avatar
bruggz351  bruggz351 is offline
SpicerSlicer
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 5,548
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
Default

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red,
orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at her.

The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not
choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!

In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ....
"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if
you're my kid!"
__________________
  #139  
Old 28-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,131
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,542
Liked 6,056 Times in 3,996 Posts
Default

An aboriginal’s son asks his dad, "Dad, what's Democracy?"

"Well, son, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!"

"But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about it?"

"Sure they are, but that's called 'racism'"
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
  #140  
Old 29-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,131
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,542
Liked 6,056 Times in 3,996 Posts
Default

A blond city girl named Amy marries a Northern Territory cattle station owner

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the stockman says to Amy, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'

The stockman leaves for the outback paddocks. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'

'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'

The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,

'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Sponsored Posts
  #141  
Old 01-03-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,131
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,542
Liked 6,056 Times in 3,996 Posts
Default

Meeting girls at bars is like window shopping. You're looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
  #143  
Old 06-03-2012
Dudzy's Avatar
Dudzy  Dudzy is offline
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Brisbane, Northside
Posts: 433
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hahahahaha, best thread ever :P
  #144  
Old 06-03-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,131
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,542
Liked 6,056 Times in 3,996 Posts
Default

You need to change this one a little. Should be an Aussie bloke !!



http://holycannoli.posterous.com/her...agnificent-jew
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Post New Thread  Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


» Advertisements_AS2




Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3



All times are GMT +10. The time now is 05:24 PM.




AJOR does not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of AJOR or any entity associated with AJOR, nor should any advice be substituted as technical advice replacing that of a mechanic. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use AJOR to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, religious, political or otherwise violative of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or by AJOR. The owner, administrators and moderators of AJOR reserve the right to delete any message or members for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold harmless AJOR, the administrators, moderators, and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). The use of profile signatures to intentionally mislead or misdirect any member on this forum is not acceptable and may result in your account being suspended. Any trip that is organised through the AJOR forum is participated at your own risk. If you or your vehicle is damaged it is your responsibility, not that of the person that posted the thread, message or topic initiating the trip, nor the organisers of AJOR or moderators of any specific forum. This forum and associated website is the property of AJOR.





Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

AJOR © 2002 - 2018 AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM. All corporate trademarked names and logos are property of their respective owners. Ausjeepoffroad is in no way associated with DaimlerChrysler Corporation or Fiat Jeep.
www.midlifemate.com wayalife.com jkwrangler.com ausjeepforum.com jk-forum.com canadianjeepoffroad.com cryptoprofitcalculator.net
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=