I'm no electromatronical engineer... but a diode won't (or at least shouldn't) damp out the pulses. A diode basically is like a 1 way valve, it only lets current flow in 1 direction. It protects from current spikes travelling back to your computer (for example), so many relays have a diode built in for protection.
It may be a co-incidence that the relay is slow acting, so that you don't get the chatter..? Anyway, technically (says the non engineer), a capacitor is the jigger you need to damp out the pulses and keep a constant current on the relay to stop chatter.
Here is a link I saved on how to wire up LED's.... hopefully it still works...
http://www.jkowners.com/forum/showth...ight=capacitor
S.