I wouldn't worry too much about the hitch height. For about $80-$100, you can get one that's adjustable. Repco have them.
Of more concern I believe is the spring stiffness. I have a 3" IRO lift, and while it is fantastic offroad - it is soft which allows fantastic flex, I believe it is a major contributing factor to not being an enjoyable tow vehicle. It's just too soft in the rear end and wallows around, and noticeably impacted by trucks and even large cars passing causing wind to move the van around on the highway.
I think it's because the soft spings allow sideways movement. Yes I have Load Levellers, but think I need to get air bags too to stiffen them up.
If you're not going offroad, do you really need to lift it? I certainly wouldn't do more than a 2" lift, and go for a stiffer spring if I was doing it again. Also the issue with death wobble can arise if you lift it too high. I've spent big dollars fixing this, and the only time it happens now (very rarely) is when I have the van on the back as it changes the geometry at the front.
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