How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[RED_TJ]

What’s the difference between an refugees and ET?

ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own ********ing bike, and wanted to go home!

[RED_TJ]

I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”

Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

[RED_TJ]

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail.

I got locked up for punching the ******** out of this idiot at a party.

In my defense…when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.

[RED_TJ]

The missus asked me, “When you’re on a guys only Jeep trip away, do you think about me?”
.... Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

[furkew]

Thanks for that red TJ.

Gave me a good chuckle.

[layback40]

Roses are red, violets are glorious, never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.



Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!



Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.



And the Oscar goes to.... Jail



New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.

Footprints.



She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.



I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released... Bam! President of South Africa. That's how it works over there, right?



When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?



First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"

[bruggz351]

Jeez, Im enjoyin this thread... there's some absolute crackers