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11-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Porn videos never tell you the whole story. They never show if the plumber finally fixed the kitchen tap or not.
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98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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11-06-2015
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Full Flexer
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lapstone, NSW
Posts: 1,015 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,368
Liked 186 Times in 124 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
Porn videos never tell you the whole story. They never show if the plumber finally fixed the kitchen tap or not.
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LOL or if that old VCR ever bloody got fixed - or the pool cleaned haha
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2012 JK, Uneek 4x4 front bar, ATV 2.5" flexy coil lift, Maxxis 762 285/70R17, heavy right foot
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12-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Signs Seen:
Soup of the day: The tears of our enemies.
“I don’t want to get technical or anything, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution…
“Bitter divorce sale.”
“Please do not tap on glass. It scares the ice-cream
“Push to open. If that does not work: Pull. If both do not work, try the actual entrance around the corner.”
Outside a Church: “Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool.”
Do you think ants get confused when they accidentally get on buses and end up really far away?
Sometimes I get frustrated because you can’t put a number into capitals. 12. Am I screaming? You’ll never know.
Thinking is like reading your own mind.
Ice hockey is much better if you imagine that the teams are fighting for the world’s last Oreo
Husband to wife ‘Today is a fine day’.
Next day he says: ‘Today is a fine day’.
Again next day, he says same thing. Finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband ‘Every day you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?’
Husband: ‘Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you…’
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds"
Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped.
"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says: "Worked for your f@rkin arse, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Mother inlaw said to her sons wife when the baby was born"I dont mean to be rude, but he doesnt look anything like my son" the daughter inlaw lifted her skirt and said "i dont mean to be rude either, but this is a fanny not a f@rking photo copier!!....
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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The blonde missus phoned me and said I think I'm going to be late why I asked? well she said I've been trying to buy a train ticket online for over an hour now and I'm getting pissed off. It keeps asking me, Where do you want to go? So I click on the icon that says Home, and then it makes me start again!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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How come you can't keep an erection these days?" Asked the wife, after another unsuccessful attempt at a shag.
"I'm sorry love, it's not my fault." I told her, "It's the mirror."
"Really?" She said, disbelievingly. "The mirror??"
"Yeah." I replied. "Go and have a look in it."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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