How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[bucko92]

Here Here Layback!!
Hmmm, now a joke so I don't get moderated for chit chat.....

Three high class businessmen are in a meeting when all of a sudden a ringing is heard coming from the first man's hand. The other 2 notice his hand is empty and ask why his hand is ringing. The first businessman explains that he has a mobile phone embedded in his hand so he can't leave it anywhere and proceeds to extend the tip of his thumb as an aerial and to talk into his pinky. A short time after the first man's call the second man suddenly closes his eyes and shakes a little. The other 2 rush to his aid only to be told that he was receiving an email and that it is flashed up on his eyelids for him to read. Feeling left out without any fang-dangled do-dads to show off, the third man excuses himself to the loo and sticks some toilet paper up his bum and out the top of his pants. When he returns the 2 other businessmen point out his embarrassing mistake to which he responds 'Will you look at that! I'm getting a fax!'

Czech this out. http://youtu.be/aHKIMOgoJoU

[task82]

Originally Posted by layback40

For those who dont like some of the posts.
This is not a joke thread, its name is "How tough are Aussie Blokes (?)" ~ If you are offended then maybe you are answering the question.
Having been in many locations in Australia where what is posted in this thread is quite acceptable, I can only conclude some people lead a very sheltered existence. Please dont try & impose that sort of existence on others.
I just post what people send to me as emails.
I dont normally criticize other peoples posts or other members on this thread & to keep it so successful best others dont either.
If any one doesnt like any of my posts, I suggest that you just put me on ignore. That way you dont have to read them. Its a sort of self imposed censorship.
My posts are not politically correct in any way & some may consider racist. Maybe those who would criticize them are just giving examples of how correct the message in the post is.
Given the number of views of this thread (10s of thousands) in a few months, one or 2, calling me names or expressing disgust, fail to be statistically relevant.
If you dont like the presentation of factually correct information, like the existence of certain organizations then some may question your motives.

LB40, just thought I should give this back

[bruggz351]

Scottsman, a Chinaman, a Pom and an Aussie were in the pub debating whose country was the best.
The Scottsman reckoned his was the best, because we got the greenest grass.
The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
The Chinaman reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
The Aussie said we're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your great wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's ass with your flag!

[bruggz351]

Bruce comes home from the pub and sees Sheila watching Gordon Ramsay's F%*#ing cooking show on the telly.
Bruce says; "What are you watching that shit for? You can't cook to save your life!."
To which Sheila replies; "So what? You watch porn movies, don’t you?"

[bruggz351]

A story about mateship. Sheila didn't come home one night. When Bruce asked her where she'd been she said she spent the night at a girl friend's house. Bruce was a bit suspicious she'd been rooting around so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.
Next week Bruce didn't come home one night. Sheila asks him where the hell he'd been. Bruce says he got a bit drunk at a mate's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there. Sheila thinks he's been rooting around so rings his ten best mates. Eight of them say he spent the night there and two claim he's still there.

[bruggz351]

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

[bruggz351]