How tuff are Aussie blokes? - Page 2 - AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand

Go Back   AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand > GENERAL > Off Topic Chitchat
Register Forums Trading Your Jeep New Garage Mark All Read

Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #8  
Old 05-02-2012
Banshee's Avatar
Banshee  Banshee is offline
SwampDigger
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Blue mountains, West of Hell
Posts: 3,759
What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,479
Liked 538 Times in 397 Posts
Default

Good one.

Hunno: Then you'd have to lose the accented spelling, though...
__________________
Jeeps: Lego for grownups!
  #9  
Old 08-02-2012
anthonygubbin  anthonygubbin is offline
MonsterMoose
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Tasmania ATM
Age: 52
Posts: 7,118
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 477
Liked 606 Times in 359 Posts
Default Aussies are not only tuff but smart

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American
archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story
published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of
250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that
their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the
British".

One week later, Australias Northern Territory Times, reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Tennant Creek, Northern
Territory, Billi Bunji, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
absolutely fu ** -all.

Billi has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone
wireless."...

makes ya feel bloody proud to be Australian!
__________________
Lay down with dogs and you will wake up with fleas; scratching the surface not treating the disease. Over 5'000 Club
  #10  
Old 08-02-2012
bruggz351's Avatar
bruggz351  bruggz351 is offline
DetroitDemon
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 4,801
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
Default

__________________
  #11  
Old 08-02-2012
SteveT  SteveT is offline
Full Flexer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sydney N.S.W.
Posts: 641
Likes: 15
Liked 29 Times in 14 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by anthonygubbin View Post
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American
archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story
published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of
250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that
their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the
British".

One week later, Australias Northern Territory Times, reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Tennant Creek, Northern
Territory, Billi Bunji, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
absolutely fu ** -all.

Billi has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone
wireless."...

makes ya feel bloody proud to be Australian!
Top of the Pop's A.G.................... Great one.............
  #12  
Old 08-02-2012
Gravel's Avatar
Gravel  Gravel is offline
TerraFlexer
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Near Da Beach
Age: 60
Posts: 1,036
What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Gr8 boff ov em... jus wot we needed for humpday
__________________

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life!"
2 Door Red Rock Renegade.
  #13  
Old 08-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is online now
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,781
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,579
Liked 6,550 Times in 4,342 Posts
Default

WE ARE AUSTRALIANS! ('Nuff said!)

We, the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the
occasional w@nker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand) And although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to ***** and moan about it whenever we bl##dy like.

We are One Nation but we're divided into many States:

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in
lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte,
grand-final day and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne,
whose chief marketing pitch is that 'it's livable' ... At least
that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too bl##dy cold
and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with suga.
Thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its
capital, Sydney, has more queens than any other city in the world
and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their
speedos up their cr@cks to keep the left and right sides of their
brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a state based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of
foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation.
Where else can you so effectively re-use country bank vaults and
barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a
queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of the
track caused the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. Its main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work.
WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them
still work there in the Government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, Kangaroos, Jackaroos,
Emus, Uluru and dusty kids with big smiles. It also has the highest
beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminum content of anywhere too. Although the
Territory is the center piece of our national culture, few of us
live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali .

And there's Queensland ... While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half-arsed skeptics, it is worth
noting that God probably made Queensland - it's beautiful one day
and perfect the next. Why he filled it with dick-heads remains a
mystery.

Oh yes, and there's Canberra. The least said the better.
We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous
twists and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are
united in our lust for international recognition. Not that we're
whingeing; we leave that to our Pommie immigrants.

We want to make 'no worries mate' our national phrase, 'she'll be
right mate' our national attitude and 'Waltzing Matilda' our
national anthem. (So what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who
commits suicide??)

We love sport so much our news readers can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning. We're the best in
the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball,
rugby, AFL, roo-shooting, two-up and horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies and the worst-dressed Olympians in the known universe.

We shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by
lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded,
Sports-obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
  #14  
Old 08-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is online now
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,781
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,579
Liked 6,550 Times in 4,342 Posts
Default

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
Post New Thread  Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On





All times are GMT +10. The time now is 02:50 PM.


Advertisements




AJOR does not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of AJOR or any entity associated with AJOR, nor should any advice be substituted as technical advice replacing that of a mechanic. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use AJOR to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, religious, political or otherwise violative of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or by AJOR. The owner, administrators and moderators of AJOR reserve the right to delete any message or members for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold harmless AJOR, the administrators, moderators, and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). The use of profile signatures to intentionally mislead or misdirect any member on this forum is not acceptable and may result in your account being suspended. Any trip that is organised through the AJOR forum is participated at your own risk. If you or your vehicle is damaged it is your responsibility, not that of the person that posted the thread, message or topic initiating the trip, nor the organisers of AJOR or moderators of any specific forum. This forum and associated website is the property of AJOR. No user data is harvested and no information supplied in your registration will be sold for profit.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

AJOR © 2002 - 2024 AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM. All corporate trademarked names and logos are property of their respective owners. Ausjeepoffroad is in no way associated with DaimlerChrysler Corporation or Fiat Jeep.
www.ausjeep.com www.ausjeep.com.au www.midlifemate.com ausjeepforum.com www.r9kustoms.com
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=