How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

Then others added these comments:

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT. But then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say are you sure? before going off.

10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

11. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

12. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become the target of investigation by the Justice Department.

13. Every time GM would introduce a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

14. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

[layback40]

Anyone with an interest in Long Covid may find this useful.
https://erictopol.substack.com/p/tow...g-covid-puzzle

[layback40]

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. "Mary, what does your parents do?"
Little Mary replied "My dad is a Barrister and my mummy is a nurse."
"That's very nice," said the teacher," Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"
"That's very nice," said the teacher ,"Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's in Jail and my mom's a Whore" Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 15 minutes later, he returned.
"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher. Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, he then gave me a chocalate frog and asked for my Mums phone number."

[layback40]

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. 'You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,' the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear; 'The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing. technologies, ...and,' pausing to take another drink of beer.The senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said,



‘You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young... so we invented them.

Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?