How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

Dear Dorothy Dix,
> >>
> >> My partner has a long record of money problems. She runs up huge
> >> credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them
> >> off, she shouts at me, saying I am stealing her money. She says pay
> >> the minimum and let the next lot worry about the rest, but already we
> >> can hardly keep up with the interest.
> >>
> >> Also, she has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbours that
> >> most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd up our
> >> bills even more.
> >>
> >> Also, she has gotten religious, even though she denies it. One week
> >> she hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the
> >> Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next she's with Muslims.
> >>
> >> Finally, the last straw: She's demanding that before anyone can be
> >> in the same room with her, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just
> >> so horribly creepy! Can you help?
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >> Lost.
> >> ---------------------------
> >>
> >>
> >> Dear Lost,
> >>
> >> Stop whining Tim, You're getting to live in The Lodge for free,
> >> travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you.
> >>
> >> You can leave her any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with
> >> her until September 14, 2013!
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >> Dorothy Dix.

[walldog]

Originally Posted by layback40

Dear Dorothy Dix,
> >>
> >> My partner has a long record of money problems. She runs up huge
> >> credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them
> >> off, she shouts at me, saying I am stealing her money. She says pay
> >> the minimum and let the next lot worry about the rest, but already we
> >> can hardly keep up with the interest.
> >>
> >> Also, she has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbours that
> >> most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd up our
> >> bills even more.
> >>
> >> Also, she has gotten religious, even though she denies it. One week
> >> she hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the
> >> Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next she's with Muslims.
> >>
> >> Finally, the last straw: She's demanding that before anyone can be
> >> in the same room with her, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just
> >> so horribly creepy! Can you help?
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >> Lost.
> >> ---------------------------
> >>
> >>
> >> Dear Lost,
> >>
> >> Stop whining Tim, You're getting to live in The Lodge for free,
> >> travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you.
> >>
> >> You can leave her any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with
> >> her until September 14, 2013!
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >> Dorothy Dix.

Gold!!!!!!

[layback40]

This thread has passed 40,000 views in not much more than a year !!



The Night Nurse

The more you think about this one, the funnier it gets.

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a cheque,she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great....that's just great.....some asshole's got my pen!'

[bruggz351]

Originally Posted by layback40

This thread has passed 40,000 views in not much more than a year !!


'

[RED_TJ]

Its been scientifically proven that woman can be satisfied with only 3.5 inches and it does not matter if it's Visa or Mastercard.

[RED_TJ]

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man..

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'.

The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'

[RED_TJ]

Life is like a peanis, simple, soft, streight, relaxed and hanging freely..................... then woman make it hard....