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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Judy............Judy"
"Is that you, George?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then I pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again..
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"
"No...........I'm a Rabbit in Cornwall..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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Just watched a program on tv about controlling issues of incontinence, pissed myself laughing!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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On average, Irish couples have sex three times a week, English couples four times and Japanese couples only have sex only one to three times a month.
This is upsetting news as I had no idea I was Japanese!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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A mother of two 16 year old blonde daughters had just bought a new house in a new town. So they were buying paint, shades and all that you would need for a new place.
The mother left the house to go shopping. She told the girls that she wanted them to paint the family room but, not get any paint on their clothes.
After the mother left the two daughters decided that they should just take off all their clothes to obey their mother. So there they were painting naked when they heard a knock at the door.
So they both went to the door and said "Who is it?"
The reply was " The blind man."
So the two blondes thought ... He's blind, so he won't be able to see us naked. They let him in.
The man said "Nice tits lady, now where do you want the blinds?"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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My new puppy is now fully trained to sniff drugs.
Give it a few weeks and I'm hoping he'll be able to roll up his own $20 notes too.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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05-06-2015
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Full Flexer
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lapstone, NSW
Posts: 1,015 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,368
Liked 186 Times in 124 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
How about posting some cartoons. My IT skills are not up to doing it. ~ maybe "Baxters Tool Works"
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I'll have a squiz tonight when I get home  some cyanide and happiness wouldn't go astray on here either hehe
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
2012 JK, Uneek 4x4 front bar, ATV 2.5" flexy coil lift, Maxxis 762 285/70R17, heavy right foot
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05-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,815 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,598
Liked 6,567 Times in 4,349 Posts
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I went into the chemist & asks for some Viagra. The woman says, "You need some medical proof that you need it!" ....I said, "Would a photo of the wife do?".
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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