 |
|
09-06-2015
|
 |
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a blackeye. His father see's it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!
"Johnny", the father said. You don't do those kind of things to women.
Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your habit? I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,
"Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her habit and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a hairy pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you'd looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?" The driver leaned into the back and shouted, "Three of you have got to get out."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
My beautiful wife sent me a selfie pic...asking was she fat?
My f@rking auto correct on my phone changed noooooooooo....
to mooooooooo...I am f@rking dead!!!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
Paddy and his wife were discussing their sex life, "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight" he said, "What the hell is that"? asked his wife, "You bend over hands on the floor, i pick your legs up and take you from behind" said Paddy, "I'll do it on two conditions" said his wife, "If it hurts you stop straight away...", "and we dont go past my mother's house".
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
|
My 18-month-old son fell asleep on my lap today.
So I carried him upstairs, laid him down and then I went back downstairs to relax for 20 minutes.
Everybody on the bus must've thought I was a right ********....
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
09-06-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:
"I think everyone's asleep, let's go."
"This one's empty ... no-ones looking... you go in first."
"It's a bit cramped - let me sit down!"
"Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on."
Sniff, sniff ,"Ah perfume - you think of everything!"
"This is great....." (long sigh!)
Static on the loud speaker, then a new voice: "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is On
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT +10. The time now is 11:59 PM.
|
|
|
|
Advertisements
|
|
|
