How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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Teacher: Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny answered: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

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I found my first Grey pubic hair today, something like this wouldn't normally bother me,but it was in a Gregg's sausage roll.

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We have arrived at the time of the year when the brain storms of the nation wind their clocks forward an hour and convince themselves they have scored an extra hour in the day.
This is the time of the year where one convinces themselves if they cut a foot off the bottom of the blanket and sew it on the top they have an extra foot, only a politician could come up with this crap.
The imports in Qld want daylight saving, most of them don’t work and wouldn’t know what happens in parts of the state where the sun is actually still up at 7.00 pm each day, the extra hour they so crave have people eating at 8.00 pm while the sun is still up, but that’s okay they want the extra hour, forget the fact we held a referendum that ended in an astounding “NO” the thought process is there is an extra million southerners living here now and this time they will get it over the line.
West Australia has held three referendums and they want another one because this time there might be some new people living there who will vote yes. The media get behind this garbage every year.
Here is a thought process, wind your clock forward and get up and do your thing, no one will notice because we have adjusted to the nut jobs who want to reinvent the wheel.

With summer approaching, daylight savings will kick off this weekend.

Clocks will be put forward by one hour from 2am AEST on Sunday in NSW, Victoria, Tasmania, South Australia and the ACT.

Queensland, Western Australia and the Northern Territory can rest easy — there’s no change to their time zones.

Daylight savings will remain in place until April.

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Just been watching a lesbian porn 3D blu-ray, on my HD TV...
For added effect, I put two open cans of tuna on the radiator....It's like I'm in the room with them!!!

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A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Mate! how long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?"
Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says"about 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks"how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes."
In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says,"this must be good, where did he go when he left here?"
Joey says, "To your house!"

[layback40]

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.

"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"

"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."

He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."

Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."

"Give me the No Name," she says.

She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!”

[SeaComms]

Originally Posted by layback40

We have arrived at the time of the year when the brain storms of the nation wind their clocks forward an hour and convince themselves they have scored an extra hour in the day.
This is the time of the year where one convinces themselves if they cut a foot off the bottom of the blanket and sew it on the top they have an extra foot, only a politician could come up with this crap.
The imports in Qld want daylight saving, most of them don’t work and wouldn’t know what happens in parts of the state where the sun is actually still up at 7.00 pm each day, the extra hour they so crave have people eating at 8.00 pm while the sun is still up, but that’s okay they want the extra hour, forget the fact we held a referendum that ended in an astounding “NO” the thought process is there is an extra million southerners living here now and this time they will get it over the line.
West Australia has held three referendums and they want another one because this time there might be some new people living there who will vote yes. The media get behind this garbage every year.
Here is a thought process, wind your clock forward and get up and do your thing, no one will notice because we have adjusted to the nut jobs who want to reinvent the wheel.

With summer approaching, daylight savings will kick off this weekend.

Clocks will be put forward by one hour from 2am AEST on Sunday in NSW, Victoria, Tasmania, South Australia and the ACT.

Queensland, Western Australia and the Northern Territory can rest easy — there’s no change to their time zones.

Daylight savings will remain in place until April.

Ummm... the referendum resulted in a greater than 50% yes for state wide and greater than 60% yes for South East QLD - which Captain Bligh stated was a resounding no. Not sure where she learnt math...

Yes, I am an import, only been here 24 years now, but being woken up by the sun and birds chirping at 4am is not my idea of fun. We are (South East corner) actually well ahead of the current arbitrary time zone that runs through about half way between ACT and Sydney so yes, I support DLS - in fact I would support a 1/2 hour shift forward all year round for the south east corner.

EDIT: Sorry, wasnt a referendum, was a government survey of 74,000 QLD'ers -

Originally Posted by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_saving_time_in_Australia

In October 2007, the completed government-commissioned research was presented to a newly sworn-in Premier Anna Bligh, who ruled out holding a new referendum, despite the report indicating 59% of Queensland residents and 69% of South East Queenslanders to be in favour of adopting daylight-saving time.[8]