How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

During work Mike and John are chatting,
Mike: "I've been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week."
John: "Oh!"
Mike: "For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?"
John: "No."
Mike: "He is the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you take night courses you would know this."
The next day the same discussiontook place:
Mike: "Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?"
John: "No."
Mike: "He is the author of "The 3 Musketeers". If you took night courses you would know this."
The next day, once again:
Mike: "And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?"
John: "No."
Mike: "He's the author of "Confessions", if you took night courses you would know this."
Now this time John got irritated and said, "And do you know who Steven Turner is?"
Mike: "No."
John: "He is the guy sleeping with your wife! If you stopped night duties you would know this!"

[layback40]

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other,
"What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. "You're wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."

They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

[layback40]

Two women police dog handlers are on the beat, one says "I'm cold I left my knickers at the station."
The other one says "let the dog have a sniff of your fanny and he'll fetch them."
The dog returned 20 minutes later with her knickers and truncheon two broom handles and 3 of the desk sergeants fingers!!..

[layback40]

My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography."
"What about it?" I replied.
"How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?"

[layback40]

After hot passionate sex last night with my girlfriend, she snuggled up next to me and said “You know, You are by far the biggest I’ve ever had”
Apparently, “Ditto” is not the right response…

[layback40]

I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want?
Now my phone hasn't stopped fucking talking for 3 days!.

[layback40]

The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.
I told her I was looking for cheap flights.
"I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, she quickly undressed and we had the most amazing sex ever....
Which is odd, because she's never shown an interest in me darts before!!