Q2: Most commonly it could be one of the ABS sensors, damaged if mud and dirt got into it or their plugs and wiring might be damaged but the ESP will also get tripped up in the same way if the steering wheel is misaligned (not pointing ahead when the wheels are straight), which is reasonably easy to fix in your driveway. I don't know of an OBD2 reader that can tell you if it's a sensor or what sensor is the problem but there is a "reset" sequence you can do (i.e. turn the key to Acc, pump the throttle, face North, stand on one leg, etc.) and a sensor-related problem will trip it up reasonably quickly afterwards but other causes will only show up after a bit of driving.
Q3: It's possibly shot ball joints but it may also just be play in the steering box - the JK has never had the tightest steering feel. An easy way to check what's loose or moving is to get someone to turn the steering wheel side to side while you check the ball joints, pitman arm, etc. If you are on your own, prop your phone up and record a video while you turn the wheel. Youtube videos are probably the easiest way to see how much movement is normal in each component.
Q4: I buy most accessories and mods from
www.sbroffroad.com.au or
www.JeepKonection.com.au and parts from
www.rockauto.com. There are a couple of shops that have popped up in Brisbane and GC selling sometimes sub-standard JK accessories and mods like front bars that bend easily and rust quickly - I stick to the online stores that have never steered me wrong.