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10-05-2013
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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This guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,
'99'.
The old guy obeys and says,
"99".
The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,
'99".
Again, the old guy says,
'99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”.
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say,
'99'.
The old guy begins,
"One...
two…
three…"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-05-2013
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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How to get to Heaven from Ireland : A true story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher.
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven? ' ' NO! the children answered.
If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?' Again, the answer was ' NO! '
If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?
Again, they all answered ' NO! '
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven? '
A little boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN ' DEAD...."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-05-2013
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DetroitDemon
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 4,801 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
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WOOT
Hey layback, 50 pages
__________________
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11-05-2013
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Technology isn't always a good thing...
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He tests it at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-05-2013
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials
for his home. She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw
and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factually...
'I think the man would have said - 'Well, F#ck me!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-05-2013
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SwampDigger
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Blue mountains, West of Hell
Posts: 3,765 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,481
Liked 540 Times in 399 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
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And to go with that, you need to have the parts you are going to fit with the tools: KaleCoAuto For all those hard to find parts!
__________________
Jeeps: Lego for grownups!
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13-05-2013
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Banshee
And to go with that, you need to have the parts you are going to fit with the tools: KaleCoAuto For all those hard to find parts!
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You have no idea how long I have been trying to find a place to get some of those bits !!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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