How tuff are Aussie blokes? - Page 4 - AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand


Go Back   AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand > GENERAL > Off Topic Chitchat


Portal Register Forums Trading Your Jeep New Garage Mark All Read

Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #28  
Old 10-02-2012
Skrillex  Skrillex is offline
I just registered
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bunbury, Wa
Posts: 5
What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Chopper sets the standard
  #29  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

I think the mods are to be congratulated for letting this thread run !!
Or maybe they are all still ROFL ??
Please keep it going!!!
Just look at the number of views it gets!!
It must be good for the site stats.
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
  #30  
Old 11-02-2012
jklad's Avatar
jklad  jklad is offline
Full Flexer
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 583
What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

An Aussie bloke, a Frenchman and an Italian guy are sitting together at the bar in the departure lounge at Kingsford Smith, waiting for their flight. They begin discussing the art of lovemaking and before long the bragging begins.

"When I give my mistress one hour of gentle touching and extended oral pleasure, she literally rises above the covers in ecstacy when she climaxes" begins the Frenchman, sipping on his glass of wine.

"Ahh, that's very admirable my Gallic friend" replies the Italian after sampling hi Campari & soda, and not to be out done adds "however after making long and passionate romance to my lover she arches her back and rises half a metre off the bed in absolute unbridled pleasure when she reaches orgasm".

The Aussie, who's listening to all this with a faint smirk on his face, knocks back the rest of his schooner of VB and snorts "That's nothin fellas. After I'm done rootin' the missus for a couple of minutes I jump staight out of bed and wipe my dick off on the curtains, and she hits the f****** roof!"

Last edited by jklad; 11-02-2012 at 11:27 AM.
  #31  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."
"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a ****ing wall."
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
Sponsored Posts
  #32  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

One New Year's Eve Judy stood up at the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death.
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
  #33  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

In QLD there is a story that shows what a great country this is. At a rodeo, we had a horrible accident. There was a fireworks accident that killed a cowboy. After the explosion, all that was left was a cowboy hat and a horse's ass. Damned if today it isn't .....................
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
Sponsored Posts
  #34  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

Oscar drove his brand new jeep to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new jeep!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
__________________
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
  #35  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

A fellow bought a new V8 hemi jeep and was out on an back road for a nice evening drive. The windows were down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 120kph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a V8 hemi," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 150, 160 170 and finally 190 with the lights still behind him.

"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!"

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice night", said the officer
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
  #36  
Old 11-02-2012
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,441
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,682
Liked 6,105 Times in 4,036 Posts
Default

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the bottom corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Australia, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Australuia are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable cricketers who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the ******* I'm putting on the island next to them...."
__________________
98&01XJ VMs,06 KJCRD,I no longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
Post New Thread  Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


» Advertisements_AS2
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3



All times are GMT +10. The time now is 01:35 PM.




AJOR does not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of AJOR or any entity associated with AJOR, nor should any advice be substituted as technical advice replacing that of a mechanic. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use AJOR to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, religious, political or otherwise violative of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or by AJOR. The owner, administrators and moderators of AJOR reserve the right to delete any message or members for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold harmless AJOR, the administrators, moderators, and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). The use of profile signatures to intentionally mislead or misdirect any member on this forum is not acceptable and may result in your account being suspended. Any trip that is organised through the AJOR forum is participated at your own risk. If you or your vehicle is damaged it is your responsibility, not that of the person that posted the thread, message or topic initiating the trip, nor the organisers of AJOR or moderators of any specific forum. This forum and associated website is the property of AJOR.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

AJOR 2002 - 2019 AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM. All corporate trademarked names and logos are property of their respective owners. Ausjeepoffroad is in no way associated with DaimlerChrysler Corporation or Fiat Jeep.
www.ausjeep.com www.ausjeep.com.au www.midlifemate.com ausjeepforum.com Jeep Wrangler JL Australia release
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=