How tuff are Aussie blokes? - Page 895 - AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand


Go Back   AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM Jeep News Australia and New Zealand > GENERAL > Off Topic Chitchat


Portal Register Forums Trading Your Jeep New Garage Mark All Read

Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #7153  
Old 09-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

Christmas Turkey Recipe (Using Popcorn As Stuffing).

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are just not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give it a try.

8-15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
2 cups uncooked popcorn
Salt and pepper to taste.

===========================

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter. Season to taste. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn(uncooked).

Place in baking pan with neck end towards the front of oven. Listen for the popping sounds.

When the Turkey blows the fucking Oven Door open and flies across the Kitchen Floor, it's Done.
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (2)
  #7154  
Old 09-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.
"Now Maria,” she asked. “Why do you want more money?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."
"The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth: "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...."The gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you want?"
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (1)
  #7155  
Old 10-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with
5,000 Turkeys... a spokesman for the gang said "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted...
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (1)
  #7156  
Old 10-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

"Would you like anything on your chips sir?"
"Does it cost extra?"
"Ten pence."
"All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie....."
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (3)
Sponsored Posts
  #7157  
Old 10-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe
that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.
But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast
on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy
“Oh my Lord," says Farther Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.
….It's a mir….Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I’ll have to report this matter to
the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He’ll send some people round; to interview you,
take photos and a statement etc.”
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent
over from the Curia in Rome Italy . No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the
town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
“It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen,
(quite outside the natural laws of the universe). Yet the Holy See must be very cautious
before ruling it a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.
Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that
Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"..
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (4)
  #7158  
Old 13-12-2016
SKU113's Avatar
SKU113  SKU113 is offline
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 159
What Jeep do I drive?: TJ
Likes: 16
Liked 20 Times in 11 Posts
Default

What is a prostitute's favourite Jeep?

- 69 Willy's
Likes: (2)
Sponsored Posts
  #7159  
Old 14-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

We always hear 'THE RULES' from the Female Side. Now here are the Rules from the Male Side.

Here are Our Rules:-

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where YOUR eyes are, but your Boobs are where OUR eyes are. Don't try to change that.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is Blackmail. End Of.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A Headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a Doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

11. If you think you are Fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a Trap.

12. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (1)
  #7160  
Old 14-12-2016
layback40's Avatar
layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,222
What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 3,592
Liked 6,068 Times in 4,005 Posts
Default

My boss said to me "Why do you come out in a rash everytime I give you your wages"?
I said "It's because i'm allergic to peanuts".
__________________
98 & 01 XJ VMs
I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort. 10'000 Club
Likes: (1)
Post New Thread  Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


» Advertisements_AS2




Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3



All times are GMT +10. The time now is 07:41 AM.




AJOR does not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of AJOR or any entity associated with AJOR, nor should any advice be substituted as technical advice replacing that of a mechanic. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use AJOR to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, religious, political or otherwise violative of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or by AJOR. The owner, administrators and moderators of AJOR reserve the right to delete any message or members for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages, and you agree to indemnify and hold harmless AJOR, the administrators, moderators, and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of your message(s). The use of profile signatures to intentionally mislead or misdirect any member on this forum is not acceptable and may result in your account being suspended. Any trip that is organised through the AJOR forum is participated at your own risk. If you or your vehicle is damaged it is your responsibility, not that of the person that posted the thread, message or topic initiating the trip, nor the organisers of AJOR or moderators of any specific forum. This forum and associated website is the property of AJOR.





Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

AJOR © 2002 - 2018 AUSJEEPOFFROAD.COM. All corporate trademarked names and logos are property of their respective owners. Ausjeepoffroad is in no way associated with DaimlerChrysler Corporation or Fiat Jeep.
www.midlifemate.com wayalife.com jkwrangler.com ausjeepforum.com jk-forum.com canadianjeepoffroad.com cryptoprofitcalculator.net
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=