mine was doing this a little while ago - sometimes it owuld grind in second... other times it would be fine - now its totally cactus... i am replacing my gearbox because i dont want to get this one rebuilt.
I hate to "jump to conclusions" but i have a funny feeling you could be heading the same direction. I would find some other oil - see if that helps
as for draining the gearbox - pretty simple... get it warm (not hot... otherwise you will burn yourself) which helps the fluid flow... then drain it out (before you drain it... make sure you can get the filler plug open
) and once its empty... fill 'er up again.
As for fluid - im not sure, i run Redline oils (MT90) which seemed to do the trick up until mine shit a miata.